G.I. Joe – The Movie

Ok, I thought I must say more than a one-line blip about watching this movie so here we go.


1.) I grew up on 80’s G.I. Joe.
2.) I had no high expectations about this movie going in.

I finally got around to seeing G.I. Joe – Rise of Box Office this weekend on DVD. I enjoyed it. It was full of what you would expect from a summer blockbuster, lots of explosions.

My gripes:

1.) Plot holes so big you could drive Optimus Prime though them:

  • So the team stopped the last batch of Nano machines by sending them into space then just dropping the whole thing. Hello!? They just left them out there to reek havoc on anything in the atmosphere (after hyping up the danger of the little buggers).
  • How does Cobra so easily break into the SUPER HIGHTECH G.I. Joe HQ?!
  • How does G.I. Joe so easily break int the SUPER HIGHTECH Cobra HQ?!
  • The NeoVipers don’t scream because they feel no fear or pain. But they sure screamed alot when getting blown up and stuff.

2.) Characters:

  • The Baroness should have just been a bad guy and not some goodie goodie one under someone’s control. She is a hot bad-guy and should have remained so.
  • Duke (and this is my biggest annoyance with the movie) was a wigger.
  • Cobra Commander should have been a different character, more mysterious, less dorky.

3.) Technology:

  • The technology where things just form (aka the cowcatcher on the front of the cobra hummer in the Paris chase scene) sucks. I hate this effects and several moview use it. It looks too alien and ‘magical’. The same effects can be seen in the 1989 Batman (the batmobile) and the newer batman. Armor that just forms out of nowhere pushes unbeliviable a little too far.
  • Product placement: Cisco hologram technology.

That’s pretty much it. It was a wild ride that I expected it to be. I liked the Doctor character. He was just hovering on the verge of realism and fantasy.

I must admit I am liking G.I. Joe – Rise of Sequel better than Transformers 2 (too serious).

Author: nate555

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